Ultimate Universe Truth or Dare Talk Show
by we are anonymous we are legion
Summary: my second shot at a true torture fanfic. rules of this are in the story. however, in this one, it can get as random as random gets...and now we do "Wat if..." questions too! reviews will now be carried over to the next "season"!
1. And so Begins the TortuI mean SHow

rkts

a/n

Me: Shiro! Bring me the Necronomicon!

Shiro: -reaches into his chest and pulls out a book with a strange necronamic aura- _**KLAATU VERATA NECTO**_!

-no zombies come forth or make sounds of "Brrrraaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnsssssssss"-

Shiro and Myself (the King of Randomness): woot!!

Shiro: -gives KoR the Necronomicon (the book he just pulled from his chest (not chest as in a box, but chest as in the one that is part of his body!)).-

KoR: okay… here goes nothing. –speaks an incantation after opening the book and then he and Shiro are now in a set for a TV talk show with a large cage of rabid fangirls on one side and a cage of the exact same size (only thicker bars) of fanboys.-

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing but myself and Yamata, Shiro, plus Doom/Resident-Evil-no-Jutsu.

end of a/n

-KoR and Shiro are in the center of the TV set that I told you in the author's note, and there are people attending to/working with/maintaining the set. They start broadcasting.-

KoR okay let's get this show on the road!!

Shiro: -imitating Dr. Evil- Start the machine!!

Hanabi (who is also on the set): -imitating Frey- START THE MACHINE!!

Some Random Person: OO –starts a strange device that I failed to mention in the Author's Note (oh and by the way, the Necronomicon is back inside Shiro's chest)-

(with Inuyasha and the crew at Naraku's Castle)

-Naraku is dead and Inuyasha is in the "proposal" type of kneeling position, about to propose to Kagome.-

-ZAP-

(with Naruto, Hinata, and every other Naruto character but Hanabi)

-zap-

(with all of the Final Fantasy 7,10, and 12 series characters)

-ZAP-

(with all of the Kingdom Hearts Characters)

-ZAP-

(with Strong Bad at his PC)

-SB is about to check and answer an email when…-

SB: -just about to type in his email account and password when…-

-ZAP-

(with all of the Code Grass characters)

-ZAP-

(with the "Duke Boys" and Daisy Duke with their car, the _General Lee_)

Bo: you broke the moonshine…which side do you want it? Right or left?

Luke: -sigh- left—

Bo: -whacks Luke upside the head with the VERY thick Duke family phonebook-

Daisy: -- ooh! That's gotta hurt!

Uncle Jesse: -comes in from nowhere while holding three cases of moonshine, sees Luke on the ground and Bo holding the phonebook- OO _…took the words right out of my mouth…_

-ZAP-

(with DETHKLOK)

-they are playing "Awaken" on a "DETHipod"…-

DETHipod: Musta-Krakish,  
Musta-Krakish,

The time has come, to awaken him.

I call upon the ancient lords of the underworld,  
To bring forth this beast and,

Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,  
Take the land, that must be taken.  
Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,  
Devour worlds, smite forsaken

Rise up from your thousand year-old sleep,  
Break forth from your grave eternally.

I command you to rise, rise, rise, rise,  
rise, rise, rise, rise.

I'm the conjurer of demons,  
I'm the father of your death.

I bring forth the ancient evil,  
I control his every breath.

I instigate your misfortune,  
With the birth of killing trolls.

I awaken Armageddon,  
Feeding on a thousand souls.

Awaken,  
Awaken,  
Awaken,  
Awaken,

_Solo_

Musta-Krakish, (musta)  
Musta-Krakish, (musta)  
Musta-Krakish, (musta)  
Musta-Krakish, (musta),

Musta-Krakish, (musta)  
Musta-Krakish, (musta)  
Musta-Krakish, (musta)  
Musta-Krakish, (musta)

Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,  
Take the land, that must be taken.  
Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,  
Devour worlds, smite forsaken

Rise up from your thousand year-old sleep,  
Break forth from your grave eternally.

Weak will die and land will all be burned  
Musta-Krakish king and death to worlds.

I command you to  
Rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise,  
Rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise,  
And awaken.

-zap-

(with the FMA crew)

-ZAP-

(with the LoZ characters at Hyrule Castle)

-Link and Zelda are in the middle of the end of their wedding reception…-

-ZAP-

(with all of the DEATH NOTE characters)

-ZAP-

(with all of the DMC characters except for Arkhom, Mundus, and a few others)

-Lady and Virgil are sitting next to each other, Lady holds Virgil's hand-

Virgil: ((OO)) (blushing, with a state of shock…then…slight happiness and a bit of longing…)

-ZAP-

(back at the TV set)

-there are now fanperson-proof barriers trapping the Fanpeople in their respective cages-

KoR: -checking a pocket watch- any minute now…

-ZAP-

-all the characters listed in the scenes before this one are now on the set, and a barrier prevents them from leaving-

Shiro: welcome to…

Hanabi: the…

KoR: greatest Truth/Dare show on earth…

KoR, Hanabi, and Shiro: THE Shiro-HANABI-AND-KING-OF-RANDOMNESS-TALK-SHOW!!

everyone but the Dukes, who had never been on one of these shows before: OH NO! NOT THIS AGAIN!

Shiro, Hanabi, and KoR: that's right! Here, you, the reader/viewer, or the host(s) , can "dare" anyone of the characters (except for the three that are saying this) to do anything or "ask" them any question! However, only a host may dare/ask one of his/her co-hosts. And if you (the one that is dared/asked a question) doesn't do the dare or truthfully answer the question, you have the choice of entering either the cage of Fangirls –points to that cage- or the cage of Fanboys –points to that cage-!

all:OO

KoR: now, since I'm the oldest host here, I'll make the first dare/ask the first question! LIGHT! I DARE YOU TO PUT THE NAME Paris Hilton IN THE DEATH NOTE!!

all: _halleluiah! THANK YOU (insert whatever deity/deities you believe in here!)_

Light: THANK YOU! –takes out his DEATH NOTE and a pen- now how do you spell that name whose owner of that name's singing sounds like "nails on a chalkboard" to all?

KoR: -rights down name on an ordinary piece of paper and gives it to Light-

Light: THANKS! -copies said name into his DEATH NOTE- DELETE!

(somewhere)

Paris Hilton: -dies of a heart attack-

(back with us)

Shiro: Hanabi-chan, I think you should get this next one.

Hanabi: alright… Shiro-kun, I dare you to copy Sephiroth's powers via the Randomnigon that you got from KingofRandomness via blood transplant, and use those powers in a fight with my father!

Hiashi: OO _did she just say what I think she just said!?…sh-t-f-ck!_

Sephiroth: OO _WTF!? WHEN DID THAT BLOOD TRANSPLANT HAPPEN!?_

Shiro: okay…-activates the Randomnigon (his eyes start to resemble the Twilight Zone spiral)- okay Sephy, look into my eyes (the Randomnigon can copy ANY ability (even kekei genkai) except for demon abilities and author powers (but it still does devil trigger)) now…time for my limit breaker! –a raven-colored wing comes out of his back, a 6-foot katana appears at his side- now… are you ready Hiashi-sama? (with a bit of an echo in his voice)

Hiashi: OO _oh sh-t! hey wait a minute! Is it just me, or are Link and Zelda in wedding clothes!?_ I just noticed something! Why are Link and Zelda in wedding clothes?

Link: -opens his mouth to speak-

Zelda: because today's our wedding day, and the reception was almost over!

Link: -closes his mouth, smiles, and squeezes Zelda's hand, which now has a ring of one of the fingers-

Zelda: -squeezes back and smiles, with a slight blush on her face-

all but the Hyrule crew: OO _oh the poor, poor, newly-wedded couple…_

Shiro: …wait! Lets not change the subject until this chapter's dares/questions are over!

all but Hiashi: right! _Ooh this is going to be awesome!_

KoR: -snaps his fingers, and a screen shows a battlefield and Shiro and Hiashi are on that same battlefield-

(A/N since **"One-winged Angel"** is exclusively Sephiroth's theme song, we will go between **"Through the Fire and the Flames"** by **Dragonforce** and **"Free Bird" **by **Lynard Skynard**!)

-the first non-exclusive song starts playing-

Shiro: unsheathes the 6-foot-long katana and gets into a ready stance as Hiashi prepares for both a fight and a world of hurt by drawing out his own sword- THAT'S ENOUGH!

-Shiro disappears in a flash of light and reappears behind Hiashi and looks as if he had swung the sword to the side-

Hiashi: -blocks a series of mako-based slashes and tries to cut Shiro from behind-

Shiro: -teleports behind Hiashi and nocks Hiashi into the air with his katana-

Hiashi: -manages to block Shiro's aerial attacks with his own attacks-

-they land-

Shiro: -is surrounded by a purple aura, and ascends-

Hiashi: oh sh-t!

Shiro: DESCEND…HEARTLESS…ANGEL!!

-the attack connects-

Hiashi: -now has one hp left and no chakra- OO

Shiro: time to finish this… -starts attacking from when the first song ends and then…-

Hiashi: -just manages to parry all these attacks-

BGM: …oh won't you fly high oh Free Bird yeah… -really fast and long guitar solo-I mean trio begins-

Hanabi: woo! Go Shiro go Shiro go!

Shiro: :)

Hiashi: O.o…achoo!

Shiro: -teleports to one end of the battlefield, summons a set of small meteors (a few hit Hiashi), teleports to Hiashi's front, runs the katana through him a few times, teleports away again, and summons a HUGE meteor, which also hits Hiashi.-

Hanabi: :)…FINISH HIM!!

Hiashi: O.O _what does she want him to do!? Beat some sense into me or kill me!?_

Shiro: teleports again and descends, katana pointing downward, and it pierces Hiashi from the back-

Hiashi: -falls, defeated, but not dead-

Shiro: -uses a phoenix down to revive Hiashi-

Hiashi: why did you bring me back!?

Shiro: -sheaths his 6-foot-long katana- so that you know not to try to interfere with mine and Hanabi-chan's relationship, even though calling it a "relationship" can be considered an understatement, and the same thing goes for Naruto and Hinata, whom you WILL let Naruto-dono marry Hinata-dono! –takes out the Noisy Cricket- you got that?

Hiashi: O.O yes!

Shiro: good. And one more ting: -whispers "His Royally Random Majesty is an author" in Hiashi's ear- now lets get back shall we?

Hiashi: O.O _oh sh-t!!_

five minutes later..

-everyone is back at the set, the song finally ends, and everyone is surprised to find a VERY less conservative/strict Hiashi…-

Hanabi: oh! Shiro-kun! You still have your dare/question!

Shiro: oh! Right! Father (Orochimaru) I dare you to permanently seal yourself in Lord Deaths belly by having KoR kill you!

Orochimaru: after such an epiphany and display of raw power, I would gladly do so. But first…-forms seals- SEAL TRANSFER JUTSU! –puts his hands on the now normal-state Shiro and a strange spirit-thingy (Hachibi no Yamata no Orochi, the eight-tailed serpent) leaves Orochimaru's body and seals itself in Shiro's body- now KoR I know you have your own DEATH NOTE and Shiro, what I just did transferred Hachibi from my body to yours, as was done from parent to child for generations in the Yamata clan…when the parent felt that the child was ready…, now KoR, please, kill me with that DEATH NOTE of yours and kill me permanently, for I have no regrets…

KoR: -takes out his DEATH NOTE, the one who's original owner was Lord Death himself, and a pen, writes down Orochimaru's name, and the proper cause of death, and closes the notebook-

Orochimaru: (controlled by the powers of the DEATH NOTE) -commits seppuku, and dies-

Shiro: _so… I'm a…jinchuuriki AND the guardian of the Necronomicon now…_Hanabi, I know you probably hate and/or fear me now but I'll never stop loving you—

Hanabi: HOW CAN I EVER HATE YOU!? NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, YOU'RE STILL THE Shiro-kun THAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH ALL THOSE YEARS AGO! AND I STILL HAVE NO REASON TO FEAR YOU! …I promise that I will always be at your side… I promise…because I… I'VE ALWAYS LOVE YOU Shiro-kun AND I ALWAYS WILL!

Shiro: oh my beloved Hanabi-chan…

-the two embrace.. and then they kiss-

all: aww…

Hinata: hey they kind of remind me of…us…

Naruto: …took the words right out of my mouth…

(a/n Link and Zelda could probably say the same…end of a/n)

(a/n the scene from the end of the last dare to this has cut out of the broadcast and added to the "deleted/alternate scenes" section of the DVD's that were being made for selling once the season was over end of a/n)

KoR: now that we've all got our dares completed, it's time for you, the reader to send in your Dares and/or questions via review! And you future readers/people who are already readers of this show will check out the responses after these messages!

-they go to commercial while getting rid of Orochimaru's body-

a/n

so what do you think? First give us your dare or your question, then the actual review!

end of a/n


	2. The NecroRing and Inuyasha's Proposal

rkts2

a/n

so I only got one bloody review…oh well…

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own anything but myself, Shiro, my fanfics, DOOM-no-Jutsu, Resident-Evil-no-Jutsu, and something you'll find later on, and it's not going to be anything from Futurama… although we will add something referencing it at the end…

end of a/n

(at the set)

KoR: -opening up the only message- okay… reviewers first-it's tradition-now…-starts reading- it's from a "HinataMusaCorneliaRenee". it says: "So Naruto I  
have two questions for you  
1. How do you feel about having the nine-talied fox inside of you?  
2.why are you so dense?  
and one for Shikamaru- OMG! WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME! I LUV YOU!!" unquote heh… sounds like a fanperson if you ask me…okay Naruto you answer yours first…Naruto?

(Shippuden Naruto): -making out with (Shippuden Hinata) on the couch while Pre-Shippuden Naruto) and (Pre-Shippuden Hinata) are watching, blushing madly!-

KoR: Naruto!!

(both Narutos): O.O what?

KoR: answer your question!

-Both Narutos read it-

(Pre-Shippuden Naruto): I'll go first… 1. I'm not really sure how to describe it, but it's a mixture of-

(Shippuden Naruto): a combination of "I don't like it. It feels unnatural", "extreme power within me… I shall use this power to better mankind", and "my father gave this to me… this is the fourth most important thing in my life (next to Hinata-chan, the village, and ramen, in that order!)".

Pre Shippuden Naruto: couldn't have said it better myself…2. –

Shippuden Naruto: Oi! I was only that dense in my younger years!

Pre Shippuden Naruto: thanks a lot…

KoR: okay Shikamaru…time for you to answer your question.

Shikamaru: -has been paying attention to everything since the word "review" was typed/KoR reentering the set with an envelope in his hand- NO- NO- AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT F-CK NO! I already have my Temari-chan…

Temari: -blushes heavily-

KoR: now for the hosts' questions/dares.

All: OO

KoR: I guess I'll go first…Shiro! What is that ring for?

Shiro: -wearing a strange ring on his right ring finger- oh this? This is just so that I have more control over the Necronomicon's power, rather than it controlling me. this way, there's a smaller chance of Hanabi-chan getting hurt!

All but the three hosts: Oo

Hanabi: Inuyasha, I dare you to do what it was you were doing just before you wound up on the show!

Kagome: actually I would like to know…

Inuyasha: -sighs-_so much for just having our friends as witnesses instead of the whole world…_ okay…-signals Kagome to "come here"-

Kagome: -complies-

Inuyasha: -kneels, holding one of Kagome's hands in two of his (you know the whole marriage proposal thing)- Kagome,

Kagome: (confused) yes Inuyasha?

Inuyasha: I love you…

Kagome: I love you too…

Inuyasha: will you marry me?

Kagome: (in a state of shock) _ did he just say what I think he said!? Say yes already! Do something!_

Inuyasha: you don't have to if you don't want to-

Kagome: -tears of joy flowing from her eyes like rivers, hus Inuyasha-YES! OF COURSE I WILL!! –kisses Inuyasha-

Inuyasha: OO…-kisses back-

All: aww…

Shiro: _well there goes my question…_

Five minutes later…

-Inuyasha and Kagome are out of their own little world and everyone is now waiting for Shiro's question/dare-

Shiro: okay Cloud! I dare you to-

Cloud and Tifa: -start making out-

Shiro: what the hell!? How in (insert deity's name here) good name did they know what I was going to say!?

Yuffie: well, since so many people have this happen already, they took a guess, and it seems they were right… they knew you were going to dare them to have a make-out session on camera-

Shiro: wait a sec- make-out session? I was just going to dare them to kiss on camera- not have a tongue-wrestling match…

CloudxTifa: -the "kiss" starts to get REALLY heated…-

KoR: oh and by the way, we do "What if…" questions too starting the end of this (chapter)!

Shiro and Hanabi: "what if…" questions!? How are we supposed to do that!?

KoR: well…

(flashback)

_(Farnsworth's laboratory from Futurama)_

_KoR: __dun-un dun-un-an-un dunanananananana__ –grabs the What If… Machine- __dunan dununan__-_

_Farnsworth: who are you?_

_KoR: _okay think of something quick_ I am that girl you took to the prom._

_Farnsworth: Emilia, is that you? yes it is you! It's been so long…_

_KoR: yeah, well…gotta go! –creates a portal below him, gets back to the set, and installs the What If… Machine-_

(end flashback)

KoR: yeah the old man really is blind, because he actually believed that I was this "Emilia".

All: --

(hosts): we'll be right back after a ling commercial set…. remember to send them in during that time!


	3. we do what ifs now too!

rkts3

a/n

Seriously, if you're reading this fanfic, try and spread the word about it via what ever means you can/have power to do. And if your profile is on "Double-Secret-Probation", try to find any other authors and get them to spread the word. However, if you're not a member of the site, please join. Don't try to reattempt any of the stunts performed in this fanfic, because they're not stunts. They are actual things. And also, I need more readers and reviewers so…

_**Disclaimer**_: I own nothing but myself, Shiro, Randomnigan, DOOM no Jutsu, Resident Evil no Jutsu, and any fanfic I write.

end of a/n

KoR: -opening the only review- okay, this one is from a "Dragonlord". There are three dares here…"1. Link I dare you to shove the Master Sword up Sasuke's butt!  
2. Light, I dare you to write in the DEATH NOTE...'BILL CLINTON!'  
3. I dare the author to take care of my pet fox!"

Sasuke: -runs behind the cage of Fangirls, for fear of yaoi-

Light: -can be seen closing the DEATH NOTE and putting it away as if he had already done it- too late I already did. he turns out to be an ascended _**Shinigami**_ (a human that became a _**Shinigami**_ by Lord Death's will). In other words, he can reproduce normally, but the DEATH NOTE won't do anything but extend his life.

KoR: hey wait a minute! Only a host can ask/dare his/her co-host! Oh well… since it is the only review for the last chapter…-snaps fingers and Dragonlord's pet fox appears- hey, it's kind of…cute…oh and Link,

Link: yeah?

KoR: you still need to take care of your dare. Sasuke! HE'S ABOUT TO ENTER THE FANBOY CAGE!

Sasuke: -comes out from behind the cage of fangirls and looks at the fanboys' cage-

Link: _if they see me do this, they'll never let me live it down…oh well I guess I kind of have to…_ -sticks Master Sword up Sasuke's rear- A THOUSAND YEARS OF DEATH!!

Sasuke: -goes flying, gripping his rear (and his punctured pants and undergarments) in pain, unable to speak-

Link: -dips the "exposed" part of the blade in some kind of acid, pulls the sterilized blade of evil's bane out of the acid, removes what's left of the acid with some sort of powder, and puts it back into it's sheath- …-faces the camera-….Dragonlord…as soon as I am freed from this talk show, Zelda and I are going on our honeymoon (before they got here, their wedding reception was almost over), and when I get back, first thing I'll do is kill you…

Sasuke: -also faces the camera- …that is, if there's anything left for him to kill when I'm through with you…

KoR: now, people, anyone got a "what if…" question to ask the machine over there –points at the what-if-machine, which is in the center of the room- cuz I do. –goes up to it, holding the fox in his arms, puts fox on the couch next to Naruto and Hinata-

Fox: -curls up next to Naruto-

Naruto: OO

Hinata: Oo

KoR: -clears throat-what if this talk show was r rated or x rated (m or ma rated in FanFiction terms)

What If Machine: (-first five minutes are censored for obvious reasons, so we'll skip the censored stuff- FCC: -banging on door- Randoglious, Draconus III! It is the FCC! Open up! Or you're canceled! KoR: you can't cancel me! I'm an author, so what I say goes in this fanfic. And besides I know your not the FCC! Your just a bunch of Fanpeople! FCC: oh man! They didn't say we were dealing with an author! Report back to base immediately! –they go back to their building- KoR: it's ok. You all may get back to what you were doing! We're still on commercial!

KoR: oookaaaay… well everyone can ask a "What If…" question. Therefore, Hiashi, why don't you ask it one?

Hiashi: -walks up to it, clears throat- what if my daughter Hinata were to marry Uzamaki, Naruto?

WIM: ERROR! ERROR! ERROR!

KoR: Oo that's strange… it only does that either when it will happen regardless of what anyone has any power to do…try another one…

Hiashi: what if my youngest daughter, Hyuga, Hanabi were to marry Yamata, Shiro?

WIM: ERROR! ERROR! ERROR!

Hiashi: WHAT THE HELL!?

Link: what if I never did my dare for this chapter?

WIM: -shows Link being thrown into a cage containing fangirls via Vaati's arms- Zelda: LIIINNNK!! Vaati: -throws Zelda into the same cage- (end of this show within a show)

(Zelda's father), Zelda, Impa, and Link: WTF!?

KoR: okay… from now on, we get only a few "What if…" questions that aren't by reviewer or host.

All: aww….

KoR: anyway, on to the questions/dares of the hosts- and STAY AWAY FROM THE FOX! DRAGONLORD S TRUSTING ME TO TAKE CARE OF THAT FOX FOR THE REST OF THE CHAPTER! Oh and Hinata, I was talking about THAT fox. –points at the small fox on the couch- oh and one more thing, one can dare the entire group (that is if you are one of the hosts) and I dare you all to let me copy all of your powers, except demon related ones, for those the Randomnigan cannot copy.

Everyone but the fox: -gets in a single-file line in front of KoR-

KoR: -eyes now resembling the Twilight Zone spiral- now lets get started…

About two to three hours later…

-everyone has made eye contact with him, allowing them to copy all of their abilities, minus demonic ones (except for Devil Trigger), Sephiroth being the last one in line-

KoR: -now back to his normal appearance- okay everyone! The dare is done!

Shiro: okay now Itachi, I'll let you pick, truth… or dare?

Itachi: truth

Shiro: how do you **really** feel about Ayame from Naruto? (Teuchi's daughter)

Itachi: -blushing- I-uh-um…dare

Shiro: I dare you to confess your true feelings for Ayame to her face!

Itachi: _oh man she's probably going to think I'm a freak or something_…I I um Ayame-chan,

Ayame: yes Itachi-kun?

Itachi: I-I-um… oh to hell with it-- -kisses Ayame dead-on the lips, blushing redder than blood-

Ayame: -at first shock, then… relief…then…overjoyed- -kisses back-

Shiro: -with everyone but Itachi and Ayame, who are now in their own little world, staring at him- well…it was bound to come out sooner or later…

Teuchi: -about too throw a cooking knife at him- O\/O

KoR: -snaps his fingers JUST as Teuchi throws the knife, and the knife ends up falling on the other side of the set with the clang of metal hitting tile-

Teuchi: what the hell!? I had him, and you interfered!

KoR: it would be better not to try to kill him just for kissing your daughter Teuchi. And besides, Itachi was the one who got everyone so attracted to Ichiraku ramen anyway, and he's the one who got you most of your first costumers and in fact, he is your first costumer!

Teuchi: -looks around- good point…

Hanabi: okay Edward Elric, I dare you to –sees Ed and Winry having a make-out session, which started as soon as the word "dare" was about to be said- let me guess… same situation as Cloud and Tifa?

Alphonse (Al for short): yup…

Hanabi: and like the CloudxTifa situation, they also enjoy theirs?

Al: yup…I think we better leave them alone until their done

Tifa and Cloud: -also having a make-out session-

-everyone but Cloud, Tifa, Ed, and Winry leave-

two (although for them, it felt like ten) hours later…

-they are done with their sessions, and everyone's back on the set)

KoR: and we'll be right back after a VERY long commercial brake…

a/n

okay you should know the drill by now...d/a,r&r

end of a/n


	4. Necrobook gets temporary control

rkts4

a/n

well…at least I'm getting more reviews… but what happened to Deidara-kun Fangirl? She used to be one of my regular reviewers, but she hasn't reviewed this story once! Oh well…oh and Dragonlord, your fox has been returned safe and sound!

_**Disclaimer:**_ okay this is the last time I'm going to say this until the final chapter. I do not own anything but myself, Shiro, Randomnigan, DOOM no Jutsu, and Resident Evil no Jutsu.

end of a/n

KoR: -walks in carrying two envelopes, each one containing a review, opens the first one before the people on the set- okay, we've got another one from Dragonlord… it says "If you two come near ... I will just teleport away.  
Edward Elric! I dare you to throw Roy in the Fangirl cage!  
Kisame...Are you related to Jaws?  
Hinata. I dare you to kick the toad sannin in the nuts!  
Itachi. Orochimaru is looking at you funny.  
Inuyasha... Can I borrow the Tetsaiga? Just for a second.  
Dante. Prepare to die...  
LATER! Exit, stage left!"

Ed: :)

Roy: OO

Ed: -grabs Roy by the back of his uniform and literally hurls him through the door on the Fangirls' cage-

Kisame: …how dare you insult my uncle…in other words yes I am related to jaws, but you don't want to know who my father was…_that sick pervert, "pleasuring" himself to National Geographic and Care Bears…_ -shudders at such a thought-

Hinata: -looks at her Naruto-kun, who nods his head signaling that it's okay…-

Naruto: HEY _**ERO-SANNIN **_("Pervy Sage")!

Jyraiya: what --

Hinata: -kicks the pervy sage "where the sun don't shine"-

Jyraiya: OO OW MY BALLS!! –is now writhing on the floor in pain- OW MY F-CKING BALLS!!

Naruto: hey Pervy Sage!

Jyraiya: what!?

Naruto: you just got kicked in the nuts!

Jyraiya: not funny!

All: yeah it is!!

-screaming can now be heard coming from the Fangirl cage, made by Roy Mustang (out of fear of the Fangirls) and by Rita Hawkeye (for fear of loosing her precious "Roy-kun")-

Itachi: what are you talking about? Orochimaru's been dead since…was it the first or second chapter?

Shiro and Hanabi: the first.

Inuyasha: no you can't cuz I can't trust anyone but Kagome with it.

Kagome: -blushes-

Dante: -starts singing "Immortal" by ADEMA-

KoR: -opens the second one and reads it- okay this one is from a…sco23. it says…

"Dares:

1. I dare Itachi to use Tsukyomi to tickle torture the girls for 144 hours.

2. I dare Kakashi to use the 10 years of death on the girls.

3. I dare Sasuke to get attacked by a bunch of hungry hyenas.

4. I dare the boys to be trapped in the closet with Orochimaru, Barney the  
dinosaur and Herbert the perverted old man from family guy for a week.

5. I dare all the girls to be trapped in a closet with Jyraiya Ebisu, and  
Quagmire from family guy for a month and the girls aren't allowed to attack  
and hit them but just put up with it.

6. I dare all the girls to get their hair shaven off.

7. I dare Itachi to put everyone in a genjutsu to watch Gai and Lee hugging  
for 72 hours.

8. I dare Sasuke and Hanabi to say the nicest things about their siblings.

9. I dare Sakura and Ino to fight to the death for Sasuke's affection.

10. I dare Naruto not to wear anything orange.

Here's a question for the Naruto cast:

Anko: Why do you like licking blood off people? Don't you know you can get  
HIV/AIDS or hepatitis b?

Naruto: What does dattebayo means anyway? Why do you add chan to Sakura's  
name when he has no feelings toward you? Why don't you focus on the goal of  
being Hokage instead of chasing Sasuke? Besides if Sasuke doesn't come back  
Sakura would probably be yours. And did you know that Hinata secretly likes  
you?

Sakura: Why do you hit Naruto for no good reason? Because if that was me that  
you hit for no reason you would have ended up missing? Are you naturally pink  
haired?

Ino: Why are you a vain and temperamental blond?

Shikamaru: Does the word troublesome run in your family?

Choji: Do you think you can get me that red pill some I can stop pill  
popping these weight loss pills?

Hinata: Why do you punk out when it comes telling Naruto about your feelings?  
Why didn't you use the cage bird seal attack when Neji was beating you down?  
Would you go back in time to make sure that Naruto ends up on your team?

Kiba: Think you can give me what ever make Akamaru grow so my dog will be  
big?

Shino: What would you do to that person if he or she switch your soap and  
shampoo with bug poison? What would you do to Naruto if he tells anyone that  
you sung and dance at the wedding in the laughing Shino arc?

Tenten: Who would you want to be married to Lee, Neji, or Gai? Did you notice  
that you get less screen time than the others? I mean where have you been in  
the Shippuden movie?

Neji: Will you ever lighten up on the fate drama?

Lee: Will you give up on Sakura she has a big forehead and will never like  
you and is equally vain and temperamental as Ino? Find another girl who like  
you for who you are and doesn't think your a weirdo?

Kurenai: Why are your eyes red? Are you part Uchiha?

Temari: What does Shikamaru do to make you like him?

Kankuro: Do you use your puppet to scare kids and old people on Halloween?

Gaara: Do you have a girlfriend?

Kin and Zaku: How did Orochimaru kill you?

Orochimaru, Kabuto, and Sasuke: For billions of dollars or yen, would you  
strip down naked with guitars and basses covering your parts and sing blink  
182's 'what's my age again' in front of all the yaoi fangirls and yaoi fanboys?

Sound five: If you have a chance to live again, Would you do the right thing  
and try to help konoha defeat Orochimaru?

Karin: Why is your hair freaky like that?

Seigutsu: Are you interested in going out with Karin because you seem to  
argue with her alot and I'm just thinking that when guys and girls fight each  
other that means they like each other?

Jugo: Do you enjoy having a split personality disorder?

Sai: Do you have any real interest in other things besides insulting people  
particularly Naruto's manhood?

Gai: Are you interested in getting a girlfriend or spreading the power of  
youth everywhere?

Asuma and Jyraiya: Why did you have to die? Why couldn't it be Gai or Someone  
else?

Tsunade: Would you had ever gone out with Jyraiya?

Shizune: Are you interested in going out with Genma, Kakashi, or Iruka?" that's…a lot of dares and questions and also… -to the audience- you can't dare me, Shiro, or Hanabi to do anything without our consent due to the fact that we ARE the hosts and owners of this show. Therefore, Hanabi can choose whether or not she does her dare without consequence- -

Itachi: -does the first dare-

Kakashi: -does his dare-

Sasuke: -gets bitten by a hyena, but it finds that he doesn't taste good, so it and the rest of them run away…-

Orochimaru's ghost: I'm dead so I can't do anything. –floats away-

Herbert: I only go after Chris Griffin. –walks offstage and back to the Family Guy set-

Barney: :)

Boys: -make a "bee-line" for the Fangirl cage-

One month later…

-The girls walk out, along with the three they were trapped in there with, with nothing having happened to them via threats of law suits, restraining orders, and other things, except for the fact that Jyraiya and Tsunade were being carried out in the middle of a make-out session-

all: WHAT THE F-CK!!

-All of the girls, except Hanabi, join the boys in the Fangirl cage-

one hour later…

-everyone but the Fangirls are being let out of the Fangirl cage-

Itachi: -is about to put everyone under the genjutsu when Gai and Lee do it for real, with a sunset background-

All but those who already knew that that would happen: WHAT THE HELL!? 1 WE ARE INSIDE, 2 IT'S ONLY NOON SO HOW THE F-CK IS THAT HAPPENING!?

Kakashi: I still haven't figured it out after so many years…

72 hours later…

-Lee and Gai finally stop hugging-

Sasuke: well… Itachi-nii-san is good at everything but Taijutsu and flirting…

Hanabi: Hinata IS a very kind and gentle person when she's not sparring or doing other ninja-stuff…

KoR: Sakura, Ino, you two don't need to do this one. (to the audience) Sakura already has Sasuke and Ino is already in love with Sai.

Naruto: -now wearing all black with the red swirls on his old jumpsuit- there you happy now!?

Anko: I don't know why I do it, but I can't get those diseases cuz I have the F-CKING antidote to the diseases right here. –takes out a thermos then puts it away-

Naruto: dattebayo means "believe it", I haven't added "-chan" to Sakura-san's name since I found out how Hinata-chan really felt about me, which was when I finally realized my true feelings for Hinata-chan…I already brought back Sasuke, and I don't care whether or not Sasuke-temme gets Sakura-san cuz I've already got my Hinata-chan, and yes I do no that she loves me, and I've known this ever since that day… the greatest day of my life…so far……

Sakura: cuz I feel like it! And yes I'm a natural rose-blonde (pink-haired) and you want proof I'll give you proof!

Everyone but Sasuke covers their eyes as she exposes herself, giving Sasuke a nosebleed in the process, but it's censored due to the fact that this IS a T rated fanfic!-

Sasuke: OO yup, she's a natural!

Ino: idk

Shikamaru: I don't really know.

Choji: I can't get you anything except a laugh or mental/emotional stuff cuz this is a talk show!

Hinata: at first it was fear of rejection… but now I don't even know why I didn't tell him sooner! It would not have been right to use the seal during the match, for it would have been cheating! And I might…if I had the chance…then again…maybe not. It's the greatest of crimes to have interfered with the past.

Kiba: sure as long as you can give me a girl to replace Hinata.

Shiro: -points at Haku, who is in fact a girl who was pretending to be a boy-

Kiba: !! –whistles, then snaps out of it and sends a package of the food that Akamaru eats to the asker of the question, then stares some more at FemHaku-

Shino: I'd kill whoever poisons my precious insects…I wouldn't care if Naruto told anyone, and that's all I have o say.

Tenten: I'd go with my Neji-kun any day. And yes I've noticed and I don't care as long as I get as many moments with Neji-kun as possible. And for the movie, I don't really know cuz author-temme over there –points at KoR- never saw the movie.

Neji: HELO? I HAVE BEEN LIGHTENING UP SINCE I JOINED THE "I-GOT-SENSE-BEATEN-INTO-ME-BY-Naruto" CLUB!

Lee: TT maybe I would if I could find another girl… but I will respect her wishes nonetheless…

Kurenai: I don't know why my eyes are red, but it doesn't make me part Uchiha, but it might just mean that me and Pein could me related in some abstract way…

Temari: the fact that he's so good at all those strategy games and the fact that he likes to stare at the clouds all day and…

Five minutes later…

Temari: and the fact that- -

The whole world: OKAY! WE GET IT!

Kankuro: -looks left, then right- sometimes…-gets wacked from behind by a phone book (provided by the Dukes) covered in Gaara's sand and hardened, by Gaara- ow! What was that for!?

Gaara: for using puppets like those on Halloween. And if I did, would I tell you? Yes I do, but her name shall be kept secret so that she can be safe from people who want to kill me.

Kin and Zaku: you don't want to know…

Sasuke and Kabuto: NO, NO AND NOT ONLY THAT, BUT **HELL NO!!**

Orochimaru's ghost: maybe…if I were still alive I could give you a real answer…

Sound Five: no, for we are too loyal to Otogakure.

Sai: yes actually, and if you want to know, it's a girl… her name…is Ino.

Ino: _he likes me! he really likes me!_

Karin: idk

Seigutsu: (playfully/dramatically) maybe…

Jugo: depends on the personality.

Gai: both…but the flames of youth are one of the things that can help us in many situations!

Asuma: cuz I couldn't survive Hidan's triple-bladed scythe.

Jyraiya: idk

Tsunade: maybe…if he wasn't such a pervert…

Shizune: -has Iruka, Genma, and Kakashi form a straight line, passes Kakashi and Genma, stops, looks at Iruka, and tackles him, knocking him over, and then has a make-out session with him.-

KoR: well that answers one question and raises many more…everyone! I dare you to play seven minutes in Heaven while I watch you all play.

-everyone but KoR forms a circle with a bottle in the center.-

Yuna: I guess I'll go first…-spins the bottle and it lands on Tidus- -blushes-

Yuna and Tidus: -go into a closet, hand in hand-

Seven minutes later…

-Tidus and Yuna come back out, both blushing heavily…-

Vaan: -spins the bottle, it lands on Penello-

Penello and Vaan: -both blush and go into the closet for seven minutes, and when they come out they're blushing ten shades deeper…

A few hours later…

Sai: I guess I'm the only one left… -spins the bottle, to find that it lands on Ino, and they both blush-

-they both went into the closet-

seven minutes later…

-nothing comes out…-

all: Oo _maybe if we wait a little longer…_

seven minutes later…

-still nothing comes out…-

all: O– (twitch) _come on… be a little more patient…_

thirty-five minutes later…

-STILL nobody comes out-

KoR: okay this has gone on long enough! –opens the door, revealing Ino and Sai making out- OO out! out! out!

-Sai and Ino stop their session and rejoin the circle, blushing redder than red!-

Hiashi: you just HAD to pull what Sora and Kairi did who just HAD to pull what Link and Zelda did… didn't you?

Ino and Sai: yup! And we have no regrets!

Larxane: I guess I'll go…-spins it and it lands on …-

Axel: OO

Larxane: _ yes! This is going to be better than when I finished my love shrine to Axel-kun…but why him? He DOES make me FEEL like I have a heart, but he's still that much of a party boy…_

(flashback)

_(some bar out in some town in the middle of nowhere)_

_Larxane: _there's so much smoke here… damn you Axel… _-spots Axel-_

_Axel: -dancing on a table, VERY drunk…- FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM HOY! FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM HOY! FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM HOY! FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM HOY! _

_Larxane: -grabs Axel by his hood- let's go Axel…-drags him out-_

_(outside the bar) _

_-they get into a car- _

_Axel: I'm with a very cute Nobody! I'm the luckiest Nobody in the world!_

_Larxane: ((O____O)) I'm flattered Axel but let's get you back to the hotel…Axel?_

_Axel: zzzzzzzzzzzz_

_Larxane: _way to ruin the moment…

_-Axel, being asleep, lost his balance, and landed in a very awkward position…(his head is resting on Larxane's shoulder)…-_

(end of flashback)

-Larxane drags a VERY sober Axel into the closet by the hood, kicking and screaming…-

seven minutes later…

-Larxane walks out with a smile on her face, while Axel stays there, looking both shocked and confused…-

(what happened in that closet…)

_-Axel is sitting as far as he can possibly get, scared of Larxane, but Larxane is closing in, with a smirk on her face…-_

_Larxane: - pins Axel to the wall with her arms, Axel starts struggling- you know Axel, you are someone who REALLY…_

_Axel: _oh sh-t I'm going to die…

_Larxane: …REALLY makes me feel as if I…as if I actually have a heart…–kisses Axel dead on the lips-_

_Axel: O____O _WTF!? Larxane…_ -kisses back, still in shock…_

(end of "what went on in that closet")

KoR: what…what happened in there?…doesn't matter I guess… my dare is over…

Shiro: I guess I'll go next then…you know what? I think the Necronomicon deserves it's own dare…-takes off the ring that allows him to control the Necronomicon and sets it on the table, giving temporary control to the book- YO NECRO-BOOK! I SHALL TEMPORARILY YEILD CONTROL TO YOU FOR THIS DARE! **Vincent Valentine, I dare you to kiss Shelke on camera, on the lips!**

Vincent: OO -kisses Shelke-

Shelke: -kisses back, as forcefully as possible- (technically, she IS nineteen in Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus, but because she joined DeepGround at age nine, she didn't age since then up until the Mako suit was removed.)

Cloud: (to all) for those of you who do not know, Shelke may LOOK to be only nine going on ten, but she is actually nineteen going on twenty, but hasn't aged because she was in DeepGround for about ten years.

All but the FFVII characters, Hanabi, Shiro, and The Author: WHAT!?

Yuffie: yup! The Tsviets (elite DeepGround soldiers) to be more exact.

All but the FFVII characters, Hanabi, Shiro, and The Author: hamina hamina hamina hamina hamina hamina…

Necro-Shiro: **actually, I can fix the aging problem…-chants an incantation…-**

Shelke: -now actually LOOKS nineteen-

Vincent: -gazes in shock and awe at the now nineteen year old beauty in front of him, jaw-drop and all- SH-SH-SHELKE!?

Shelke: yeah what is it?

Aerieth: -gives Shelke a mirror-

Shelke: -looks in it and sees the "new" her

Shiro: -now back to normal- -sees the now nineteen year old Shelke kissing Vincent- okay what the heck just happened?

Hanabi: when you gave your dare to the book, it dared Vincent to kiss Shelk, and while they were doing the dare, it used you to speak some sort of Necronamic incantation to make Shelke actually LOOK like her age.

Shiro: OO –quickly puts the Necro-ring back on as quickly as he possibly can, and with Fujin (the gauntlet on his right hand, which has the power to control wind), that can be VERY fast.- okay Hanabi-chan, remind me never to give control to the book EVER again!

Hanabi: -giggle- sure thing Shiro-kun! Oh! I'm up! Okay LORD DEATH! I DARE YOU TO MAKE HIS ROYALLY RANDOM MAJESTY INTO AN ASCENDED SHINIGAMI AND THEN RIGHT DRAGONLORD'S NAME IN THE DEATH NOTE!

Lord Death: -does both parts of his dare, the first by Necronamic incantation, and the second part by using his DEATH NOTE, but the DEATH NOTE doesn't work cuz he's an author too.-

KoR: -now an ascended Shinigami (looks human, is visible to all, but is also a Shinigami)- well I guess we'll be right back once we get more than two to four reviews for the chapter.

a/n

seriously, spread the word about the show/fanfic! R&R

end of a/n


	5. Bill Sikes, Zombies, Trogdor oh Sht!

rkts5

a/n

I just copied ALL of your abilities…and now you are getting sleepy…so sleepy….

_**Disclaimer:**_ as I said in the previous disclaimer, I'm not saying it again till the end of this fanfic. Do not own Naruto, DMC (yes, I ran the machine again and brought DMC, Oliver Twist, and Indiana Jones himself into this during the commercial! then I explained the rules to them!), or any series referenced in this torture fanfic- I mean talk show.

end of a/n

KoR: -walks in with the Oliver Twist characters following close behind, and carrying the only envelope- okay guys, as you can see, we have some new guests, and only one review…ANOTHER one from Dragonlord…-starts reading- it says "The DEATH NOTE does not work on me.  
Naruto, enclosed in this letter is a sledge hammer. use on pervy sage.  
1. Ed, kick Roy in the place where the sun don't shine with your left leg.  
2. Link, hit Ganondork with the same hammer I gave to Naruto.  
3.I DARE EVERYONE TO TEAR ENVY LIMB FROM LIMB!  
CRAP! where are my keys to the corvette?  
Reward to whoever finds my keys!  
Later"

Everyone: -looks at Fagin and Bill Sikes-

Fagin and Bill: what?

The Artful Dodger: -twirls keys on his finger-

Fagin and KoR: -sigh- (whispering) you've got to pick-a-pocket or two boys, you've got to pick-a-pocket or two…

Shiro: -snatches keys and presses the "panic button", and an alarm on a Corvette goes of, he finds it, deactivates the alarm- THE LICENCE PLATE READS "D-R-G-N L-R-D-1!

KoR: Oo that must be Dragonlord's corvette…-takes a "Super Smash Bros." Version of a hammer out of the envelope- okay Naruto, time for you to do your dare… -gives Naruto the hammer-

Naruto: :)

Jyraiya: OO –starts running around-

Naruto: -chases after Jyraiya-

-this goes on for about an hour or two, then Jyraiya starts to slow down…-

Tsunade: Jyraiya-kun! Watch out!

Naruto: -finally slams Jyraiya with the hammer, making Jyraiya literally 2-D!-

Tsunade: -takes out an air pump, inserts the nozzle into pervy sage's mouth, and starts to pump the air into him, inflating him until he is 3D again, which will take about five minutes…-

-while Roy is distracted by this, Ed brings his left leg WAY back, and kicks Roy as hard as he can where the sun don't shine, which is something Ed wanted to do for years…-

Roy: OO OW MY F-CKING BALLS! I DON'T THINK THERE'S GOING TO BE ANY FUTURE MUSTANGS ANY TIME SOON! (for those of you who don't know, Roy's last name is Mustang- as in the horse, not the car.)

Riza: ROY-KUN!

Orochimaru's ghost: don't worry, his nuts are fine, he'll just be in extreme pain for a while…

Link: -snatches the hammer and slams it foreword as hard as he can on the back of Ganondorf's head while he's distracted with laughing at poor, poor Roy laying on the floor, clutching his privates and screaming in pain-

Ganondorf: -goes flying across the room, hits the wall, leaving a rather large dent in it.-

KoR: you're paying for that Ganondork…

Ganondorf: well, since we've just gone through those dares, only one more thing to do…

Everyone: -looks at Envy- :)

Envy: OO CHEESE IT! –runs away as fast as he can-

-everyone chases Envy down to a graveyard, and tears him limb from limb, even the hosts (Shiro, Hanabi, and KoR)-

KoR: (covered in Envy's blood) okay I say we bring him back…

All: agreed.

KoR: -snaps his fingers and Envy is alive, with all his limbs re-attached…-

Radio: warning! Zombies will be coming out today for no reason…if you are near a graveyard, run away as fast as you can unless you have means to keep them at bay, but the Necronomicon will not work this time, because it is not what brought them about.

Everyone: -hears sounds of "brrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnsssssssssssss……………………."-

Bill Sikes: -wets himself and starts running for his life-

Everyone else but the hosts, Yazoo, Vincent Valentine, and anyone else who has a gun: -joins Bill in running like the Devil were after them, screaming "ZZZZOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMBBBBIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!"-

KoR: -takes out an AK forty-seven-

Riza Hawkeye: -takes out a pair of pistols-

Dante: -takes out his guns-

Vincent: -takes out Cerberus-

Weiss: -takes out his giant Gun-blades (not the kind that Leon has, but real gun-blades)-

Yazoo: -takes out Velvet Nightmare-

Shiro: -takes out an M-sixteen, a Noisy Cricket and his precious "BOOM-STICK", hands the M-16 and ammo to Hanabi-

Sparda: -draws his own pistols (yes, Sparda used guns also)-

Indiana Jones: -draws his pistol and readies his whip-

Jack Sparrow: -draws his pistol and sword

Ash from the Evil Dead series: -takes out a chainsaw and his own "BOOM-STICK"-

Sora: -goes into his "Wisdom" form-

(the guy that you play as in DOOM three): -takes out a BFG nine thousand and a Soul Cube, starts charging the BFG-

Everyone else that has a gun: -draws their own-

All: -form a circle (they are encircled by zombies)-

KoR: wait for it…

-the zombies start coming closer-

KoR: wait for it…

-Zombies are getting even closer-

KoR: WAIT FOR IT…

-point blank-

KoR: OPEN FIRE!

-they all shoot their weapons simultaneously, the BFG and the Noisy Cricket having the most effect, also taking out the first wave-

Soul Cube: **use us…**

(Tgtypaid3 (yes I know I use acronyms a lot)): uses the soul cube on a zombie, it is ripped to shreds, charges the BFG again-

-they get to the gate when they have to fire again, taking out the second wave of zombies-

Vincent: everyone take cover!

Everyone: -does as they are told-

Vincent: -uses the powers of Chaos to obliterate the rest of the zombies, then turns back to normal- Come on lets get out of here…

KoR: -snaps his fingers and everyone is back on the set-

Vincent: Oo why didn't you think of that before?

KoR: because I didn't want to risk bringing the zombies with us.

Bill: say… what happened to those blimey things anyway?

KoR: we used what ever weapons we had and destroyed them all! 

Bill: oh…hey wait a minute! –looks at Konohamoru and Shiro- didn't I see you two somewhere before?

Shiro and Konohamoru: OO NOPE!

Bill: don't you lie to me… I know you were in that Japanese production of "Oliver Twist"! lets see… -points at Shiro- you were Dodger in that film, and the other kid played as Oliver, -points at Guy- and you were in the scene were Oliver and Dodger first met!

All: OO

(a/n XD I make joke about my first torture fanfic! End of a/n)

KoR: Bill Sikes, I dare you to play the card game "Bull Sh-t" with Dodger, Itachi, Shiro, Gaara, Sephiroth, Kadaj, Loz, and Pein.

-they do so, and the ranking go in this order…First: Shiro, Second: Sephiroth, third, Dodger, fourth: Pein, fifth: Kadaj, sixth: Gaara, seventh: Itachi, eighth: Bill, ninth: Loz-

Bill: -half tears of mourning, half tears of pride of being the business partner of Dodger's leader Fagin-

Shiro: Bill Sikes, I dare you to watch Barney and the Teletubies for four hours straight!…-looks around- Bill? Where'd he go? BILL!

Bill Sikes: -can be seen locking himself in the Fangirl cage-

Nancy (Bill's "girlfriend/fiancé"): BIIILLLLLLLL!!

KoR: okay no more of those kind of dares from now on…

Hiashi: _what's wrong with this kid!?_ –uses his Beakugon- _oh I see! He must have been traumatized at some point in his past! No wonder he wanted to kill Orochimaru so badly!_

Hanabi: _you should have done the dare Bill…_

Bill: -can now be heard screaming things like "I SHOULD HAVE DONE THE DARE!" and "WHY DID I HAVE TO BE IN OLIVER TWIST INSTEAD OF HELLSING!?" and many other things…-

Hanabi: Strong Bad, I dare you to summon Trogdor the BURNINATOR and have him rescue Bill and make him do the Dare.

Strong Bad: …TROGDOR!  
TROGDOR!

Trogdor was a man  
I mean, he was a dragon man  
Or maybe he was just a dragon

But he was still TROGDOR!  
TROGDOR!

Burninating the countryside,  
Burninating the peasants  
Burninating all the peoples  
And their thatched-roof COTTAGES!

THATCHED-ROOF COTTAGES!

(Whoa, this has wicked dueling guitar solos!  
It's like, Squeedly versus Meedley over here.  
Go Squeedly!  
Go Squeedly!  
SQUEEDLY WINS!)

When all the land is in ruin,  
And burnination has forsaken the countryside,  
Only one guy will remain.

My money's on TROGDOR!  
TROGDOR!

And then Trogdor comes in the NIIIGHT!

Sasuke: -turns into Trogdor and burninates the Fangirls and Fanboys, but Bill is still unburninated, forces Bill to do the dare, which, in Bill's opinion, wasn't as bad as being raped over and over again by Fangirls!-

Four hours later…

Trogdor: pulls Bill out of the video room by the back of his Trench Coat, throws him on the couch, and turns back into Sasuke…-

Bill: -still traumatized by the non-stop Barney and Teletubies, is now laying in the fetal position, crying in fear and other emotions-

KoR: well… I guess we will have to get Bill a therapist or something, but in the meantime, you will have to wait a week's worth of commercials or until Bill's problems are sorted out, which ever comes last…

a/n

I REALLY need more readers… oh well…R&R


	6. final chapter! hope for sequals!

a/n

a/n

what happened to all of my reviewers!? As soon as you are done, spread the word about this one, and I promise you will get longer and/or better chapters. And remember to ask some "what if's", add some dares, and ask the characters some questions of your own. The more reviews I get, the sooner I update starting the end of this chapter. Just kidding! I'm going to finish this and make sequels to this one.

_**Disclaimer**_: okay you know the drill.

End of a/n

-KoR walks in with a review that is tied to a bazaar-looking package-

KoR: okay lets get this show on the road. The final episode of the season! Woot!

-the faces of everyone in this room goes from "waiting for my doom" to "finally. Its almost over…-

KoR: but the dares and questions for this episode will carry over to the next season!

-everyone's faces go back to "we're doomed"-

KoR: yup! Only there will also be "deleted scenes" for this one after this chapter and the next season will have more serieses (sp?) In it, and will be rated M!

-everyone's eyes widen in shock-

KoR: and now for the review. –opens the envelope- well what do you know, it's yet ANOTHER one from Dragonlord. It says: "Thank you Shiro for finding my car! your reward is this random crystal skull I found.  
Hey Roy, did you enjoy the pain?  
1. Sasuke, I dare you to admit you're an emo!  
2. Naruto, throw Sasuke in the Fangirl cage.  
3.link, you need a vacation form Ganondork.  
SHOOT! SOMEONE TOOK MY WALLET! MY MONEY! MY CREDIT CARDS!  
I CURSE THE FOOL WHO TOOK IT! bye."

All: -looks at Bill Sikes, who is going through a wallet and it's contents, including the money and the credit cards-

Bill: what?

KoR: …BILL…SIIIIIKES!

Bill: yeah what do you want you mangy git?

KoR: did you steal Dagonlord's wallet?

Bill: -quickly puts the wallet behind his back- umm wallet? What wallet?

KoR: don't you lie to me Bill…

Bill: I'm not lying! Honestly!

KoR: give it back…NOW!

Bill: _note to self: don't mess with an author OR his reviewers, even the anonymous ones, OR his readers…_ fine I'll do it!

KoR: good. –snaps his fingers and Bill is in front of Dragonlord, then gives back the wallet, apologizes, and reappears on set- now back to the review. -hands package to Shiro, who opens it and shows the skull to the audience, only to have it taken by Indiana Jones back to the Mayan temple from whence it came while his theme song plays-

-everyone's eyes grow to the size of dinner plates-

Link: was that who I think it was!?

Hanabi: who would have thought that we would have THE Indiana Jones appear on set at all…

Shiro: we've GOT to get him in this next time…

-insert record scratching noise here-

Roy: back to the subject at hand…no I didn't enjoy the emotional pain of being taken from my Riza-chan, or the physical and/or psychological pain of being raped by Fangirls!

Sasuke: FOR THE LAST F-CKING TIME! I'M NOT EMO!! I'M ANGSTY!! THERE'S A

F-CKING DIFFERENCE!! 

Naruto: sorry Sasuke-temme…

Sasuke: Oo what are you- -remembers the dares again- OO -runs only to be caught by Naruto ten seconds later and hurled into the Fangirl cage-

Sakura: SASUKE-KUUUUUNNN!! –jumps in after Sasuke JUST before the door closes, a sheet covers the Fangirl cage, and then moaning can be heard coming from it-

All: OO

Link: -trying to remove everyone's attention from the cage- of course! I already have a vacation planned, and it will just be me and Zelda. Its called: OUR HONEYMOON!

KoR: well… since this is the last chapter for the season…LoZ peoples, I dare you all to go back to what you were doing, where you were doing it before this talk show began!

LoZ crew: _finally…_

KoR: -snaps his fingers and they are back at Link and Zelda's wedding reception-

Shiro: Your Royally Random Majesty, I dare you to send the Inuyasha characters back to were they were before this show began.

KoR: -snaps his fingers, and the Inuyasha crew are back to were they were before the show first began-

Hanabi: guys, I dare you to run "the other machine"!

Random people: -run a contraption next to "The Machine"-

-all the characters other than the hosts and the people who run and maintain both devices are instantly transported back to where they were before the first chapter began-

KoR: Shiro…Hanabi…

Shiro and Hanabi: yes?

KoR: why are you still here?

Shiro and Hanabi: we're gonna take the LONG way back.

KoR: OO even the "tunnel of love" part?

Shiro: that's how Hanabi-chan and I got here in the first place once the set was ready…

KoR: OO…TT _oh Shiro… your mother must be soo proud…_

a/n

Yes, I'm serious about this being the last chapter, but I will carry the reviews for this chapter over to the next talk show, as I have promised

end of a/n


End file.
